There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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