Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just cut my nipple shaving
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
