i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
