She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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