As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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