sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
