she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
