If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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