the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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