Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
