they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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