69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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