my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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