Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
