Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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