so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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