Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
