i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
