I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
