he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
