Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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