What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize