She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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