I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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