Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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