i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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