Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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