Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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