We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
