brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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