she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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