What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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