under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
soo... how was my night?
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