a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize