Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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