He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
