he puts the penis in happiness.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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