The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
