I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
