so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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