Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize