I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
