If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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