you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
