It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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