he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
two words: eviction party
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
