I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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