Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
