I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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