You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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