Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
