did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
