booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
