I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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