dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize