she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
