used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
