after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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