I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize