Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
