Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
