I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
