69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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