Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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