I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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